We Share
Robin
Grandmothers have shown themselves in this situation.
My mother and I were never really very close, in fact a few years
ago I felt that I needed to set some real boundaries around my life and
limit my exposure to the not-so-positive interactions that I would have
with her. My mom was someone who desperately wanted my attention and my
support and yet did everything she could to undermine and reject whatever
I tried to do for her.
Then over 2 months ago, my mom broke her knee cap and had to have
surgery and then go through rehabilitation in a convalescent facility. She
only had me to be there for her, as I am the only relative or close friend
nearby. At first, spending every evening with her in the hospital and then
in the rehab facility was exhausting emotionally and physically and also
a bit scary to me as I watched my mom deteriorate mentally as well.
For the last 2 months I have continued to see her at least an
hr a day almost every day to be something constant in her life and
a source of comfort to her. I never really felt resentment that I
would have previously felt, but at first I guess I did have a sense
of obligation. But over the last two months of just being
with her, not always even talking much, and her being with me without
judgment or need to control, we have developed something we never
probably would have acquired before; a true love for each other and
understanding. The logistics of helping her to heal and traveling back
and forth with my busy schedule is still there and sometimes exhausting,
but I am being filled in a different way and being healed myself in
the process.
I feel the Grandmothers present in this situation as they have taught
me how to just be with someone and through that how to truly love them. I
believe my mom is experiencing the same.
Perhaps I also needed this lesson in order to better prepare me
for something else that has presented itself. I have found a wonderful
man with whom I am deeply in love. I was unsure if I would be
blessed with this opportunity in this lifetime and now it is present and
we both feel equally in love and in joy. Again, I feel the Grandmothers'
lessons so present for me. I am such a yang based person that in previous
relationships not only did I bring in people to fulfill my need to have
someone to take care of, but then felt that I always had to be on-top
of the situation in all regards. I have never felt my divine feminine as
much as I do now. After my last relationship I felt that my old patterns
had been healed and knew that I needed someone who could be my equal and
with whom I could also ask for help and with whom I could let go of my
need to be the "master and commander". I have found that in
this new love.
I can't tell you how much I feel the Grandmothers present in all
of what is going on for me these days from the real dramas to the
joys. Their lessons are not just in the easy stuff, they are in the hard
stuff too.
Your Grandmother message to, "do the work for ourselves to
express the truth of who we are" could not be more clear to me
through these experiences. Sometimes we feel like we are sharing the
message with others through our talking about the Grandmothers, and
sometimes we actually share the work through a realization of who we truly
are. We manifest that in the things that arise in our lives. Either way,
everyone gets a healing and everyone gets the lesson.
Thank you for being on this journey with me and thank you Sharon for
giving us all this opportunity.
Love,
Robin
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